Like everyone else, I have accumulated my share of enemies in the course of a lifetime. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Forgive they enemies is a very difficult advice for many of us to follow. After all, if someone has harmed us, we tend to want to get back at them. We can carry our grudges for many, many years.

And of course, it is totally counterproductive. I once fired an employee who then went into competition with me and began using what I felt were unfair business tactics. The psychic energy and accumlated bitterness that went into my thoughts of revenge consumed me for the better part of five years.

It was more than a waste of time, because whenever I thought about it, I grew vindictive and sour, and those attitudes spilled over into everything I touched. As a result I lost more than did the object of my revenge.

If you can’t take the best advice and forgive your enemies, then take the second best and forget them. The only way you can achieve true revenge is not to let your enemies cause you to self-destruct.

*Excerpted from “Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive”